


it’s a long road to healing but maybe we’ll get there

by lizzywonder



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-12 12:27:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15995222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizzywonder/pseuds/lizzywonder
Summary: Shiro isn’t quite sure he’s expecting. Maybe it’s an apology. Maybe it’s forgiveness. Maybe it’s a chance to feel loved again, to have strong arms wrapped around him, holding him close and comforting him in the middle of the night when he’s afraid of leaving this life.A fix-it fic because Shiro deserves love and dw didn’t give it.





	it’s a long road to healing but maybe we’ll get there

**Author's Note:**

> i didn’t intend for it to be a keith/shiro fic but you can read it however you like.

Shiro isn’t quite sure he’s expecting. Maybe it’s an apology. Maybe it’s forgiveness. Maybe it’s a chance to feel loved again, to have strong arms wrapped around him, holding him close and comforting him in the middle of the night when he’s afraid of leaving this life.

 

The other paladins are excited. Mainly Lance, Pidge and Hunk. Keith claims that the only thing he misses of Earth is fast food and hoverbikes. It may be true, because that kid has nothing and no one to come home to. He sees the heartbreak in Keith’s eyes when his mother had to go. He recognises it because it’s the same look he sees in the mirror everyday.

 

He supposes he’s lucky. Luckier than Keith at least. His family may be gone now, but he has Adam. Adam, who’s the only family that matters. Adam, who kept him righted when he was falling. Adam, who he left and broke the heart of.

  
  
  
  


There’s a dreaded feeling in his gut when he finds out the Earth is in danger. It’s a sickening feeling that causes him to throw up after eating anything. It churns and burns in his gut because he knows that it’s _not okay_ , that _nothing will ever be the same_. He tells the Paladins otherwise because he has learnt to be strong for others. Because he would rather die than see another one of his team get their heart broken again. He stays strong because he has to, because he won’t let Adam down again.

  
  
  


_“Adam? Christ, sweetheart, what’s wrong?”_

_Adam is curled into a ball in the corner of the room and it’s so unlike him that Shiro feels panicked. This is the first time he sees Adam fall apart and he hopes that he never will again._

_“You got your results back.” His voice is monotone and detached, lacking his usual dry humour and snark. People often say that Adam was cold and unfeeling but Shiro knows otherwise. He knows that he giggles like a fucking school girl when he’s tickled and that he has the lamest sense of humour by laughing at twenty-first century memes. He’s dry and sarcastic but he’s not unfeeling._

_This Adam in front of him is unfeeling._

_“What? What happened?” He tries not to panic but it’s hard not to when his life is hanging in the balance._

_“The doctors say you have three years left.” Adam’s voice is still the same. “It’s bullshit. They say three years when they mean three months. I know how this shit plays out. I thought I had time with my mum but it’s the same thing again. Over and over.”_

_Adam looks so insanely small in the corner that Shiro had to wrap his arms around him. “It’s going to be okay.” It’s not, but Shiro would sooner die than have Adam like this. “I’ll live out my full three years, I swear. You know what? I’m going to live even longer and I will crawl out of my fucking grave if I die just so I can be with you.” Their eyes lock. “I’m not gonna leave you. Never.”_

_There was a moment when neither of them said anything before Adam broke it. “You swore.”_

_“What?”_

_“You said ‘fuck’.” There’s a hint of his old smile back on his face._

_Shiro snorts. “This is an intense moment and I can say ‘fuck’ as many times as I want to.”_

_He’s weak. So fucking weak. But he can pretend to be strong if it means making the people he loves happy._

  
  
  
  


“Where’s Adam?” he demands. His voice is bordering on desperate.

 

Iverson hesitates slightly and motions to Shiro to follow him. They walk down hall after hall and Shiro’s panic starts to rise. Was he injured? Was he in a _coma_?

 

But they don’t go to the infirmary. They walk right past it into a large hall. There’s rows and rows of tiny plaques. Each plaque has a name and a face on it. _Oh shit_ , he thinks. The panic dies down but he’s left with a hollow feeling in his gut. It’s a million times worse than the panic because he’s numb. He’s so fucking numb.

 

They walk down row after row until they find Adam’s name, nestled amongst hundreds of other soldiers. It makes him look so insignificant. His plaque is so tiny and is barely visible against the hundreds of other shiny plaques.

 

“Adam,” he whispers, like he hopes that saying his name would bring him back to life.

 

“He was a brave soldier. He died protecting this planet. You should be proud of him.”

 

 _Was_. It’s so cliche that the use of a past tense finalises things. Was. Adam was. Now he is no longer.

 

His fingers graze the smooth photo on the plaque, trying to remember the warmth of Adam’s skin against his fingers. He can’t cry, not because he’s pretending to be strong, but because he can’t. Because his tear ducts have shrunk up and he’s left cold and unfeeling.

 

His fingers curl into a fist and he straightens his back. He has work to do.

  
  
  
  


The days following the liberation of Earth feels like hell. His adrenaline has worn off and he’s just so tired.

 

But there’s a certain sort of satisfaction in seeing the Paladins reunite with their families. Hunk and his parents and siblings, Pidge and Matt, Keith and Krolia and Kolivan and Kosmos (Seriously, was the letter ‘K’ a Galran thing?).

 

That doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck when he has no family left to visit him. Matt and Sam both drop in everyday just to see how he’s doing, but he still feels empty somehow.

 

Keith finds him before he can delve into his depressing spiral any further. “Hey, you okay?”

 

For once, Shiro doesn’t feel like pretending. Keith feels familiar and he finds it ironic that he’s the most normal thing to ever happen these past few days. He shakes his head and Keith’s eyebrows furrow.

 

There’s a thin arm wrapped around him and he leans into the warmth. They don’t say anything but Shiro feels marginally better when Keith departs the room after visiting hours.

  
  
  


They talk two days later when Shiro feels a little more stabilised and a little less like jumping headfirst off a building.

 

“He was the only family I had left. And now that he’s gone I just—”

 

Keith blinks. “You’re wrong,” he says quietly.

 

“Huh?”

 

“He’s not your only family. I’m your family too. You’re my brother, Shiro. I don’t know if your clone’s memories transferred into you but I told you this before. You’re my brother and I love you. You’re not alone in this. You’ve got the whole of Voltron behind you. You don't have to be strong for the rest of us. Let us be strong for you for a change.”

 

Shiro feels something like a dam breaking in him. An unleashment of emotion and he chokes up a little. “Thank you,” he says, but it’s not enough to express how much he feels. Maybe, bit by bit, he’s starting to mend. All the little broken pieces in his life starting to come together. They won’t be arranged the same and the cracks would still be there, but the cracks would shine through and make it into a new version of perfect.

 

It’s a long road, but he thinks he can began to heal.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> seriously though, the poor boy has had enough. he died like five times only to realise that the man he loves is dead for real. voltron is no longer a kids show. its just a huge pile of angst.


End file.
